Are You F-ing Serious

I live in what many people consider the South. It's not the Deep South, but southern enough I suppose. And as such, I work with and live around god-fearing churchgoers. Basically, I have no problems with these people. They can be a little uptight. But on the whole I find them congenial and decent. But the other day I had problem with one of my decent, upright co-workers.

You see, I'm about as profane and as inappropriate as they come. I've spent a lifetime socializing and bonding with athletes, so almost anything goes. Most of my co-workers accept this as a fact of life and don't try to censor me. (I even work with an ordained youth minister who listens to my tirades with glee. After all, a few bad words probably aren't going to get me sent to hell.) But here's what I hear the other day:

Co-Worker 1: Man, I'm so F-ing/Effing tired of the client pulling this B.S.

Co worker 2: You know, I think I'm going start "letter swearing."

Letter swearing, as far as I can figure, is saying you're tired of f-ing B.S. And as far as I'm concerned it, "letter swearing" that is, fucking bullshit! I look at both of my co-workers and lay this on them.

Me: You know, if you're intent is the same, not saying the word is no less offensive. It's just a word. The intent is the problem.

Everyone in the room stops and looks and contemplates starting an argument with a writer. I can see the wheels grinding. So I continue.

Me; It's not like we don't F means fuck. We're not four years old. Really, if you're concerned with not offending people you just shouldn't swear at all.

Silence.

Co-worker 2: I guess you're right, but it's a little less harsh.

Me: Then why use a harsh word in the first place?

Silence.

Well, dear readers, I'm sure you agree with me. But I'm a chronic line crosser. So I continue.

Me: Would you ever say look at all of those f-ing N-s standing on the corner? Is that any less harsh? Is it okay to tell some lady to suck your f-ing D?

Me: If you don't want to be harsh, don't even imply. I'm just saying.

Co-Worker 1: Ok. Let's just move on.

If you happen to know a letter swearer tell them to get fucking real. Cut the fucking shit. And quit acting like a goddamned pussy. We all know what they mean. Just fucking say it.

Like my mom used to say, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.